A group of young women arrive at the place of their holidays ...
They start looking for a hotel and soon find a 5-storey house with a sign saying "Exclusively for women".
They decide to enter.
The guy at the reception visits them floor by floor ...
On the 1st floor, a sign reads "Here men hurt love very badly, but are very nice, kind and sensitive".
The girls are writhing with laughter and without lingering go up to the second.
The 2nd floor sign reads "Here men do marvelously well, but generally treat women very hard".
It does not seem acceptable to them, they continue to rise ...
3rd floor, the sign says "Here all men are excellent lovers and they are sensitive to the desires and needs of women".
It seems ideal but there are still 2 floors ...
They continue the climb ...
On the 4th floor, the sign is surprising "Here men have bodies of Appolon, are sensitive and attentive to their companion, experts in love, all single, armored with money and ready to get married".
Here they are delighted, ready to stay there ... but decidedly intrigued, they continue until the 5th ...
When they arrive at the 5th, the sign says "Here there are no men!, This floor was built only to demonstrate that it is impossible to satisfy a woman, she will always aim higher."
Jokes to tell are a great way to break the ice and bring some laughter into any situation. From funny and good jokes to clean and short jokes, there's something for everyone. Whether you prefer corny and punny jokes or knock-knock and dad jokes, these one-liner jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. So, get ready to search for the best jokes to tell and add some humor to your day! So, what are you waiting for? Start searching for the perfect joke today!
Showing posts with label WOMEN JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WOMEN JOKES. Show all posts
Once upon a time there was a perfect man and a perfect woman who met. After courting, they were married. Their union was of course perfect.
One Christmas Eve night, this perfect couple drove their perfect car along a deserted road, when they noticed someone in distress on the side of the road. Being perfect, they stopped to give their help.
The person in distress was Santa, with his hood filled with wonderful gifts. Not wanting thousands of children to be disappointed on Christmas Eve, the perfect couple took Santa and his toys aboard their perfect car, and accompanied him for the distribution of the wonderful gifts.
Unfortunately, because of bad weather the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived this accident. Which ? (see below for the solution)
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The perfect woman has survived. In fact, it's the only person in this story who really exists. Everyone knows that Santa Claus and the perfect man do not exist.
**** Women stop reading from here, it's the end of the joke.
Men can continue. ****
One Christmas Eve night, this perfect couple drove their perfect car along a deserted road, when they noticed someone in distress on the side of the road. Being perfect, they stopped to give their help.
The person in distress was Santa, with his hood filled with wonderful gifts. Not wanting thousands of children to be disappointed on Christmas Eve, the perfect couple took Santa and his toys aboard their perfect car, and accompanied him for the distribution of the wonderful gifts.
Unfortunately, because of bad weather the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived this accident. Which ? (see below for the solution)
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The perfect woman has survived. In fact, it's the only person in this story who really exists. Everyone knows that Santa Claus and the perfect man do not exist.
**** Women stop reading from here, it's the end of the joke.
Men can continue. ****
Here is an internal regulation to set up as soon as possible in your homes and to read to your companions.
For too long we men have been divided in the name of equality, feminism and a bundle of other theories. It's finish! We counterattack! Tell your friends and your women, the man of the 90s is dead ... Long live the man of the 2000s!
Your attention ladies, that's the way things are REALLY ...:
1. If you think you are fat, you are. Do not question yourself. Move your ass and go to the gym club.
2. Learn how to use the toilet seat: if it is raised, lower it, it's not complicated, and stop complaining.
3. Do not cut your hair. Never. It creates useless arguments when we dare to comment.
4. Birthdays, holidays and Valentine's Day are not quests to verify that we are able to find the perfect gift ... once again.
5. Sometimes we do not think of you. You have to know it and live with it.
6. Sunday = football / cycling / formula 1. It's like that.
7. Shopping is NOT a sport.
8. What you wear is great. Really!!!
9. Ask us what you want directly. The subtle undertones, it does not work.
10. Learn that peeing standing from the front is more difficult than pissing straight up. Even with care, we will miss the target from time to time.
11. Most guys have 2 or 3 pairs of shoes at most, so what makes you think we are able to choose the pair among the other 30 that will go well with this dress?
12. A migraine that lasts 17 months is an illness. See a doctor.
13. Your mother is not necessarily our best friend.
14. Check the water and oil from time to time. This is an essential part of car maintenance.
15. Our relationship will never be like the first two months we went out together.
16. All we could say more than 6 or 8 months ago is out of order in an argument today.
17. It's not the dress that makes you look big. It's all fucking chocolate !!!
18. To tell us that all supermodels are tampered with make you look like a jealous jealous, and that will certainly not prevent us from reading magazines.
19. The supermodels with dream bodies that we see in magazines are all homosexuals.
20. If what one says can be interpreted in two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, you have misinterpreted.
21. Let us watch. If we do not do it, how can you be told that you are so much better than others?
22. If possible, thank you for telling us what you have to tell us during the pubs and not at half-time because that's where we go to piss, to get beer for the second half of the day. time or listen to the analysis of "experts".
23. When we are in bed and look tired, we are tired and that does not mean we do not want to talk about our relationship.
24. If you want a dessert after the dish, take one. You are NOT OBLIGED to finish it. You can taste it if you want but do not say "No, I can not / do not / should not" and then eat half of ours.
25. A diet without exercise, it does not work.
26. If you go on a diet it does not have to mean that we have to do the same.
27. The four essential human foods are white meat, red meat, coffee and cold beer.
28. Make sure that all meals contain a reasonable amount of the above - everything else falls into the category of "fadasse".
29. Do not question our sense of direction.
30. If you can learn all of this, the man and the woman can coexist in a context of love and mutual respect. The ball is in your camp.
Sincerely, The Z 'Men
Your attention ladies, that's the way things are REALLY ...:
1. If you think you are fat, you are. Do not question yourself. Move your ass and go to the gym club.
2. Learn how to use the toilet seat: if it is raised, lower it, it's not complicated, and stop complaining.
3. Do not cut your hair. Never. It creates useless arguments when we dare to comment.
4. Birthdays, holidays and Valentine's Day are not quests to verify that we are able to find the perfect gift ... once again.
5. Sometimes we do not think of you. You have to know it and live with it.
6. Sunday = football / cycling / formula 1. It's like that.
7. Shopping is NOT a sport.
8. What you wear is great. Really!!!
9. Ask us what you want directly. The subtle undertones, it does not work.
10. Learn that peeing standing from the front is more difficult than pissing straight up. Even with care, we will miss the target from time to time.
11. Most guys have 2 or 3 pairs of shoes at most, so what makes you think we are able to choose the pair among the other 30 that will go well with this dress?
12. A migraine that lasts 17 months is an illness. See a doctor.
13. Your mother is not necessarily our best friend.
14. Check the water and oil from time to time. This is an essential part of car maintenance.
15. Our relationship will never be like the first two months we went out together.
16. All we could say more than 6 or 8 months ago is out of order in an argument today.
17. It's not the dress that makes you look big. It's all fucking chocolate !!!
18. To tell us that all supermodels are tampered with make you look like a jealous jealous, and that will certainly not prevent us from reading magazines.
19. The supermodels with dream bodies that we see in magazines are all homosexuals.
20. If what one says can be interpreted in two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, you have misinterpreted.
21. Let us watch. If we do not do it, how can you be told that you are so much better than others?
22. If possible, thank you for telling us what you have to tell us during the pubs and not at half-time because that's where we go to piss, to get beer for the second half of the day. time or listen to the analysis of "experts".
23. When we are in bed and look tired, we are tired and that does not mean we do not want to talk about our relationship.
24. If you want a dessert after the dish, take one. You are NOT OBLIGED to finish it. You can taste it if you want but do not say "No, I can not / do not / should not" and then eat half of ours.
25. A diet without exercise, it does not work.
26. If you go on a diet it does not have to mean that we have to do the same.
27. The four essential human foods are white meat, red meat, coffee and cold beer.
28. Make sure that all meals contain a reasonable amount of the above - everything else falls into the category of "fadasse".
29. Do not question our sense of direction.
30. If you can learn all of this, the man and the woman can coexist in a context of love and mutual respect. The ball is in your camp.
Sincerely, The Z 'Men
Dusty Underwear ; One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny,
Dusty Underwear
> > One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny,
> > said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your
clothes in slim Fast.
> > Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!'
> > His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply
couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
> > The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of
> > his drawer.
'What the heck is this??' he said to himself as a
> > little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
> > 'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you
> > put talcum powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snicker. It's not talcum powder....
It's 'Miracle Grow'.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
§ You have two choices in life: You can stay
single and be miserable, or
>
>get married
and wish you were dead.
>
>§ At a cocktail party, one woman said to
another, "Aren't you wearing
>
>your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong
man."
>
>§ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
>
>Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
>
>
>§ When a woman steals your husband, there is
no better revenge than to let her keep him.
>
>
>§ A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished .
>
>§ A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get
>
>married?"
>
>Father
replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
>
>§ A young son asked, "Is it true Dad,
that in some parts of Africa a man
>
>doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in
>
>every
country, son."
>
>
>§ Then there was a woman who said, "I
never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too
late."
>
>
>§ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
>
>
>§ If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every
>
>word you
say -- talk in your sleep.
>
>§ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life
>
>thinking
they had no faults at all.
>
>
>§ First guy says, "My wife's an
angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're
>
>lucky,
mine's still alive."
>
>§ " A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray
for wisdom, to understand a
>
>man, to
love and to forgive him, and for patience for his moods, because
>
>Lord, if I
pray for strength I'll just beat him to
death "
>
>AND NOW FOR
THE FAVOURITE
>
>Husband and
wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
>
>blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find
>
>it
overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the
>
>bus. So the
husband and the blind man decide to walk.
>
>After a
while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the
>
>blind man
as he taps it on the sidewalk and says to him, "Why don't you put
>
>a piece of
rubber at the
>
>end of your
stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
>
>The blind
man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
>
>stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell
up."
A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he
A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he
approached his assistant "George'', I am going hunting tomorrow and don't
want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care
of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers George.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So,George,
How was your day?"
George told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a
headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says
George.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the
doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her
bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and
shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Geore, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
approached his assistant "George'', I am going hunting tomorrow and don't
want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care
of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers George.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So,George,
How was your day?"
George told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a
headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says
George.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the
doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her
bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and
shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Geore, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
No Sex Since 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a
local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young,
idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major
for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is
something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks
like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You
know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong
way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking
everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and
led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said,
"Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,
"I hope not, it's only 1956 now."
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
CREATION
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
The
Silent Treatment
A
man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other
the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not
wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of
paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ”. He left it where he knew she would
find it.
The
next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had
missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't
wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The
paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men
are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
The best funny jokes about women. Our selection of best women jokes can be found here! The best jokes
The best funny jokes about women. Our selection of best misogynous jokes can be found here! The best jokes
-Three women pour out on their respective adulteries in the compartment of a train:
The first:
- No, I can not hide all this truth, I would tell everything to my husband.
The second:
- How brave !
The third:
- What memory!
-What is the animal that takes more than 500 kg in one night?
Wife !
In the evening, her husband tells her "Good night, sweetie"
And the next morning, he says to her, "Go stand, fat cow" ...
-What is the common point between a woman and a cigarette?
You take it, you pull it and you throw it
-He's a guy who does not have ears at birth. He goes to an ear transplant. This one shows him a catalogue of ears. He thinks for a long time and finds the pair he likes. The specialist tells him to come back in a fortnight. He comes back and complains:
- Doctor, I have a problem with my ears: I hear but I do not understand.
The doctor :
"Ah, excuse me, it must have been the woman's catalog.
-A bank clerk receives a phone call from his wife saying that she has lost her credit card.
Alarmed the model employee consults the statement of the card, but decides not to oppose ...
The thief was spending less than his wife!
-What is the difference between a woman and a machine?
There are none, women are like machines, if you do not grease them every morning it squeaks all day!
How to give more freedom to a woman?
- By enlarging the kitchen.
-Three women pour out on their respective adulteries in the compartment of a train:
The first:
- No, I can not hide all this truth, I would tell everything to my husband.
The second:
- How brave !
The third:
- What memory!
-What is the animal that takes more than 500 kg in one night?
Wife !
In the evening, her husband tells her "Good night, sweetie"
And the next morning, he says to her, "Go stand, fat cow" ...
-What is the common point between a woman and a cigarette?
You take it, you pull it and you throw it
-He's a guy who does not have ears at birth. He goes to an ear transplant. This one shows him a catalogue of ears. He thinks for a long time and finds the pair he likes. The specialist tells him to come back in a fortnight. He comes back and complains:
- Doctor, I have a problem with my ears: I hear but I do not understand.
The doctor :
"Ah, excuse me, it must have been the woman's catalog.
-A bank clerk receives a phone call from his wife saying that she has lost her credit card.
Alarmed the model employee consults the statement of the card, but decides not to oppose ...
The thief was spending less than his wife!
-What is the difference between a woman and a machine?
There are none, women are like machines, if you do not grease them every morning it squeaks all day!
How to give more freedom to a woman?
- By enlarging the kitchen.
The best jokes about marriage, man and woman, the best funny story about the husband AND woman
The best jokes about marriage, man and woman, the best funny story about the husband AND woman
Love before marriage
Why are the priests against love before marriage?
Because it delays the ceremony!
Young groom and a dog
What is the difference between a bridegroom and a dog?
After a year of marriage, the dog is still excited to see you back.
Husband riddle and lawn mowers
What are the commonalities between husbands and lawn mowers?
They are difficult to start, they are smelly, and they do not work most of the time.
Two soldiers training:
-Why are you engaged in the army ...
-Because I'm single and I like war ... And you ...
I am married and I wanted peace!
Love before marriage
Why are the priests against love before marriage?
Because it delays the ceremony!
Young groom and a dog
What is the difference between a bridegroom and a dog?
After a year of marriage, the dog is still excited to see you back.
Husband riddle and lawn mowers
What are the commonalities between husbands and lawn mowers?
They are difficult to start, they are smelly, and they do not work most of the time.
Two soldiers training:
-Why are you engaged in the army ...
-Because I'm single and I like war ... And you ...
I am married and I wanted peace!
A German, a Dutchman and a Belgian are sitting in the cafe. The German proudly announces:
A German, a Dutchman and a Belgian are sitting in the cafe. The German proudly announces:
- My wife goes in 7 seconds from 0 to 100.
"Oh," said the Dutchman, "how?
- I bought him a Porsche.
- Ah it's nothing, my wife goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds.
"Oh," said the German, "how is she doing it?
- I gave him a Ferrari.
Then the Belgian:
- My wife goes in 2 seconds from 0 to 100.
- That seems impossible to us, what did you give him?
- A scale !
- My wife goes in 7 seconds from 0 to 100.
"Oh," said the Dutchman, "how?
- I bought him a Porsche.
- Ah it's nothing, my wife goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds.
"Oh," said the German, "how is she doing it?
- I gave him a Ferrari.
Then the Belgian:
- My wife goes in 2 seconds from 0 to 100.
- That seems impossible to us, what did you give him?
- A scale !
Humor joke about marriage, husband jokes, wife jokes weddings jokes
1 - difference between a happy marriage and a fairy tale
What is the difference between a happy marriage and a fairy tale?
Fairy tales, it happened at least once.
2 - 50 years of marriage
It is a couple of old married who celebrate their 50 years of marriage ...
The man said to his wife:
- After so much time together, you can confess if you cheated on me ...
His hesitant wife said to him:
- You remember that the loan for the house had been refused and that two days later, the banker rang to say he was accepted ?!
Ben .....
- Ah, you only cheated me once?
- Ben no ... The time you almost lost your job ... the week after, your boss told you that he kept you and you were never worried later ... Well ...
- Bah, twice and more for good causes, I forgive you ... That's all?
- Well no. Do you remember when you put yourself on the electoral lists?
- Yes and so ?
- you missed 2500 votes ...
3 - After dating my fiancee
After dating my fiancee for a year, we decided to get married next month. My future mother-in-law is awesome and, moreover, terribly sexy. She took care of all the preparations herself: wedding, church, music, photographer, dinner, flowers, etc. Yesterday she asked me to go to her house to see the list of guests.
When she arrived at her house, she told me that she found me to be a very attractive man, that in a month I would be married and that nothing would be possible after that, and that she would like us to make love like beasts. Then she gets up and sensually heads to the bedroom.
I remained standing, surprised and finally I ran towards the exit door.
Arrived outside, leaning against the hood of my car, her smiling husband explains to me that they had simply wanted to make sure that their dear daughter was going to marry an honest and faithful man, by testing me that way and therefore congratulates me on my reaction.
Conclusion: fortunately I had my condoms in the car ...
4 - At the wedding
It is a man who after five years of life with his girlfriend decides to get married, but he does not know too much the customs about the offering to the priest, at the end of the marriage, he talks about it to the priest who tells him :
- In fact more the bride and pretty more is expensive!
So the young man looks at his girlfriend and puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a 1 euro coin and the priest says:
- Wait! I give you change.
5 - Wedding joke
When I was younger, I hated to go to weddings because my old aunts and grandparents came near me, gave me a big slap on the back, throwing a merry:
- You're next, kid!
- They stopped this stupid joke when I started to do them at funerals!
6 - Confession before marriage
He's going to get married, he's going to confess a few hours before the ceremony.
When the priest has finished, he asks him:
"What penance do you order me, father?
- None, my son you're getting married, it's already enough like that!
7 - Two soldiers training
Two soldiers training:
-Why are you engaged in the army ...
-Because I'm single and I like war ... And you ...
I am married and I wanted peace!
8 - Riddle husbands and lawn mowers
What are the commonalities between husbands and lawn mowers?
They are difficult to start, they are smelly, and they do not work most of the time.
9 - groom and a dog
What is the difference between a bridegroom and a dog?
After a year of marriage, the dog is still excited to see you.
10 - The love before marriage
Why are the priests against love before marriage?
Because it delays the ceremony!
Robert has responded to an ad on the Internet and is about to meet for the first time to a correspondent
Robert has responded to an ad on the Internet and is about to meet for the first time to a correspondent he has never seen.
He confides his apprehension to his friend Bernard:
- What am I doing if it's ugly? We have an appointment at the restaurant and I will have to spend the whole evening with her because I dare not do otherwise ... You would not have a combine?
His friend Bernard answers him:
- Do not worry. You'll just go into the restaurant and go to her. If what you see you like, then no problem for your evening. But if she's really ugly, then you'll just have to drop on the floor and pretend that you're having an asthma attack by shouting:
"Aaaaaauuuggghhh"
That night, Robert enters the restaurant and spots the young woman who wears a distinctive sign for the appointment.
She is superb! He does not return so much she is beautiful. He approaches and is about to talk to him when ... the girl crumbles to the ground and shouts:
"Aaaaaauuuggghhh"
He confides his apprehension to his friend Bernard:
- What am I doing if it's ugly? We have an appointment at the restaurant and I will have to spend the whole evening with her because I dare not do otherwise ... You would not have a combine?
His friend Bernard answers him:
- Do not worry. You'll just go into the restaurant and go to her. If what you see you like, then no problem for your evening. But if she's really ugly, then you'll just have to drop on the floor and pretend that you're having an asthma attack by shouting:
"Aaaaaauuuggghhh"
That night, Robert enters the restaurant and spots the young woman who wears a distinctive sign for the appointment.
She is superb! He does not return so much she is beautiful. He approaches and is about to talk to him when ... the girl crumbles to the ground and shouts:
"Aaaaaauuuggghhh"
Three women, including a blonde, meet a month after their trip to Cuba
Three women, including a blonde, meet a month after their trip to Cuba and after catching the turista. One of the women says:
- Ah, me, my husband is a doctor. He prescribed me a treatment, and my diarrhea passed!
Another exclaims:
- Oh, my husband is a pharmacist. He gave me a medicine, and everything came back in order.
The blonde retorts:
- Ah, me, my husband is a psychologist. I'm still shitting in my panties, but I accept it better!
- Ah, me, my husband is a doctor. He prescribed me a treatment, and my diarrhea passed!
Another exclaims:
- Oh, my husband is a pharmacist. He gave me a medicine, and everything came back in order.
The blonde retorts:
- Ah, me, my husband is a psychologist. I'm still shitting in my panties, but I accept it better!
What are the letters ABCDEF to define the sizes of the bra cups?
What are the letters ABCDEF to define the sizes of the bra cups?
A - Appreciable
B - Well
C - Canon
D - Dement
E - Huge
F - False
A - Appreciable
B - Well
C - Canon
D - Dement
E - Huge
F - False
To satisfy a woman, a man has to do that:
To satisfy a woman, a man has to do that:
- Caress, praise, pamper, do things with taste, massage, make plans for the future, compliment, endure, do not torment, be clean, be soothing, comforting, hugging, pampering, exciting, calming, protecting, phone, anticipate, smidge, serve, forgive, sacrifice, leave, come back, beg, entertain, charm, stay back, crawl, demonstrate equality, fascinate, wait, crave, cry, wash, shave, trust , flatten, defend, cuddle, dress well, glorify, perfume, merge, sparkle, help, cuddle, be sensitive, admit, progress, reward, embrace, accept, listen, understand, evolve, offer gifts, love dance, beg, beg, adapt, heal, repair, respect, relieve, die for her, kill for her, dream of her, promise, deliver, serve, tease, flirt, confide, commit, desire, murmuring, snuggling, raising, softening, serving, scrubbing, rescuing to chew, to gratify.
To satisfy a man suddenly, you have to do that:
- Suck.
- Caress, praise, pamper, do things with taste, massage, make plans for the future, compliment, endure, do not torment, be clean, be soothing, comforting, hugging, pampering, exciting, calming, protecting, phone, anticipate, smidge, serve, forgive, sacrifice, leave, come back, beg, entertain, charm, stay back, crawl, demonstrate equality, fascinate, wait, crave, cry, wash, shave, trust , flatten, defend, cuddle, dress well, glorify, perfume, merge, sparkle, help, cuddle, be sensitive, admit, progress, reward, embrace, accept, listen, understand, evolve, offer gifts, love dance, beg, beg, adapt, heal, repair, respect, relieve, die for her, kill for her, dream of her, promise, deliver, serve, tease, flirt, confide, commit, desire, murmuring, snuggling, raising, softening, serving, scrubbing, rescuing to chew, to gratify.
To satisfy a man suddenly, you have to do that:
- Suck.
4 years old: My mom can do anything!
4 years old: My mom can do anything!
8 years old: My mom knows almost everything!
12 years old: My mother does not really know everything.
14 years old: Of course, my mother does not know anything about that.
16 years old: My mother? We can not really say that she is in the know
18 years old: She? Yes it's my mother ... How old is she?
25: Well, maybe she knows a little bit about it.
35 years old: Before deciding, we will first ask my mother.
45 years old: I wonder what mom would have thought of that?
65 years old: As I will still be able to chat with mom .....
8 years old: My mom knows almost everything!
12 years old: My mother does not really know everything.
14 years old: Of course, my mother does not know anything about that.
16 years old: My mother? We can not really say that she is in the know
18 years old: She? Yes it's my mother ... How old is she?
25: Well, maybe she knows a little bit about it.
35 years old: Before deciding, we will first ask my mother.
45 years old: I wonder what mom would have thought of that?
65 years old: As I will still be able to chat with mom .....
The 8 men that women prefer
The 8 men that women prefer
THE DOCTOR, because he says:
- "Take off your clothes!"
THE DENTIST, because he says:
- "Open big!"
THE BOOKMAN, because he says:
- "I put it in front of you or behind?"
THE DECORATOR, because he says:
- "Once inside, you'll love it."
THE AGENT OF EXCHANGE, because he says:
- "It will climb, fluctuate, and go down slowly."
THE BANKER, because he says:
- "If you withdraw too quickly, you will lose all interest."
THE TELECOM REPAIRER, because he says:
- "Do you want that on the table or against the wall?"
And finally THE HUNTER
because he enters the bush, fires two shots and eats what he pulled ...
THE DOCTOR, because he says:
- "Take off your clothes!"
THE DENTIST, because he says:
- "Open big!"
THE BOOKMAN, because he says:
- "I put it in front of you or behind?"
THE DECORATOR, because he says:
- "Once inside, you'll love it."
THE AGENT OF EXCHANGE, because he says:
- "It will climb, fluctuate, and go down slowly."
THE BANKER, because he says:
- "If you withdraw too quickly, you will lose all interest."
THE TELECOM REPAIRER, because he says:
- "Do you want that on the table or against the wall?"
And finally THE HUNTER
because he enters the bush, fires two shots and eats what he pulled ...
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