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Showing posts with label MEN/WOMEN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MEN/WOMEN. Show all posts

Husband & Wife jokes

Husband & Wife jokes
Husband & Wife jokes

Morning Funny Memes

Morning Funny Memes
Morning Funny Memes
Morning Funny Memes

Ways to tell a women is mad at you...

Ways to tell a women is mad at you...
Ways to tell a women is mad at you...
Ways to tell a women is mad at you...

This Must Be True Love

This Must Be True Love
This Must Be True Love
This Must Be True Love

The Coffee Lovers Joke

The Coffee Lovers Joke
The Coffee Lovers Joke
The Coffee Lovers Joke

Husband VS Wife

Husband VS Wife
Husband VS Wife

Funny And Hilarious Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend

Funny And Hilarious Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend
Funny And Hilarious Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend
Funny And Hilarious Jokes To Tell Your Girlfriend

10 Cute things to say to your girlfriend to show you care


Cute things to say to your girlfriend to show you care

Pregnancy Answers and Question, Sent this to some who is pregnant. OMG this is too funny!

Pregnancy Answers and Question, Sent this to some who is pregnant. OMG this is too funny!
Pregnancy Answers and Question, Sent this to some who is pregnant. OMG this is too funny!
Pregnancy Answers and Question, Sent this to some who is pregnant. OMG this is too funny!

How To make Your Wife Listen To You



If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -

Talk in your sleep

Adult jokes-Cold hands


A couple decided to go to Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for that fire place.

He came in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hands were cold, so she said her put your hands between my thighs to warm them. So he did and went back outside to finish chopping wood.

He came in after another 5 minutes and said honey my hands are cold again. So she tells him here put your hands between my thighs to warm them. So he did and then he went back out to chop some more wood.

5 minutes have passed and he went in again and said, honey my hands are cold again. She then said, Damn don't your ears ever get cold?

Hilarious jokes-Looking for a Card



At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No."

A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"

"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"

Sarcastic jokes-Bottle of Viagra



A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks for a bottle of Viagra.

The pharmacist says, "Do you have a prescription?"

The guy says, "No, but here's a picture of my wife."

Adult jokes-Wife's panties



Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon.

"Damn," the first guy said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's panties off!"

"What's the rush?" his buddy asked.

"The damn elastic in the legs is killing me!"

Funny Boys Night Out Joke

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I Love You My Husband- Funny Jokes



A woman on her death bed asks her husband to rush home and get a wooden box out from under their bed. The man retuns home, gets the box out from under the bed and opens it to find 3 eggs and $7000.00 in cash.

He returns to the hospitial and asks his wife: "Honey, why are there 3 eggs and $7000.00 in cash?" She replied: "Well, over our 35 years of marriage whenever we had bad lovemaking I would put an egg in the box." So, immediately the husband thought of himself as a love machine.

And he asked her then: "Well, what is the money for?" And she replied: "Everytime I got a dozen eggs I sold them!!!!"

Going Fishing Joke



A man called home to his wife and said: "Darling , I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said: 'Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?


" You'll love the answer,folks......The wife replied: "I did, dear. Your new blue silk pyjamas are in your fishing box!" ...

Matchmaker Joke



The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years. "Mr. Avery, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says the Matchmaker.
"Don't bother," replies Mr. Avery, "I've two sisters at home, who look after all my needs."
"That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."
"I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were mine!"

Funny One Liner


Funny One Liner

"What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?" I said: "A widow."

I Love You Joke



A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know, Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died .

"Holy Moley, thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the otherside." Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight, he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me this morning. "My golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson."

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