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Showing posts with label CHRISTMAS JOKE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CHRISTMAS JOKE. Show all posts

How to make Santa run away


- Build an army of snowmen with banners on which you wrote, "I hate Christmas", "Santa Claus!"

- Rent a nervous bull that you will leave in your living room. Savor the bull's reaction when he sees a man dressed in red from head to toe.

- Leave a note to Santa saying that you have moved. Staple on the back an incomprehensible plan with the address of your new home.

- Leave a note near the phone explaining that Mrs. Christmas has called for him to remember to bring back milk and bread on his way home.

- Place a plate filled with biscuits and a large glass of milk with a word "For the little mouse". Next, put a saucer with a half biscuit and two drops of milk in a dirty glass with a word, "For Santa Claus".

- Let trophies and shotguns hang around everywhere. When Santa is at home, come out and shout loudly, "Oh, a reindeer, and what's more, he has a red nose!" then fire several shots.

- While at home, take the opportunity to slip a speeding ticket on the windshield of his sled, replace the reindeer on his sleigh with classic reindeer and wait to see what will happen when he goes try to take off again.

- Disguise yourself as a policeman and empty your house as if it had just been burglarized. When Santa claus exclaims, "Well, we're coming back to the crime scene!"

- Decorate your Christmas tree with Easter eggs.

- Disguise yourself as an Easter bunny and when Santa comes explain to him that the house is not big enough for both of you.

Christmas jokes, Christmas joke, festive joke, Santa Claus, December, Christmas tree, humor and funny story on Christmas


1 - It is late December and the correctional court judge is in a good mood. He asks the prisoner:
- What are the facts with which you are accused?
- I am accused of having made my Christmas shopping too early!
- But that's not a crime. And how that, too top!
- Well, before the store opens ...


 2 - Blondes and Christmas tree

Two blondes decide to save a little money and go to the woods to find a Christmas tree.
After two hours of intensive research, the first harassed exclaims:
- Well, I'm sick of it, the next one we see with or without balls; we take it !


 3 - Christmas gift

A woman, shortly before Christmas, told her husband that she would like to receive something capable of going from 0 to 100 in plus or minus 4 seconds ...
It goes without saying that she wanted a new car ..
The husband, very conscientious will buy him what he needs ..
For Christmas, she receives so .. A BALANCE!

 4 - Christmas gift

How did you spend Christmas?
- As a gift!
- That is to say ?
- I spent the whole evening drunk under the tree!

 5 - Christmas card

- What I appreciate in my friend, said a young woman little fierce, is that at Christmas he sent me lots of cards: Credit Lyonnais  ... American Express ... Visa ...
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