You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.


§    You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or
> 
>get married and wish you were dead.
> 
>§    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
> 
>your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
> 
>§    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted".
> 
>Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> 
> 
>§    When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
> 
> 
>§    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
> 
>§    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
> 
>married?"
> 
>Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
> 
>§    A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
> 
>doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in
> 
>every country, son."
> 
> 
>§    Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
> 
> 
>§    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
> 
> 
>§    If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
> 
>word you say -- talk in your sleep.
> 
>§    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
> 
>thinking they had no faults at all.
> 
> 
>§    First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're
> 
>lucky, mine's still alive."
> 
>§    " A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for  wisdom,  to understand a
> 
>man, to love and to forgive him, and for patience for his moods, because
> 
>Lord, if I pray for  strength I'll just beat him to death "
> 
>AND NOW FOR THE FAVOURITE
> 
>Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
> 
>blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find
> 
>it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the
> 
>bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
> 
>After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the
> 
>blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk and says to him, "Why don't you put
> 
>a piece of rubber at the
> 
>end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
> 

>The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
> 
>stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

01 09 10