§ You have two choices in life: You can stay
single and be miserable, or
>
>get married
and wish you were dead.
>
>§ At a cocktail party, one woman said to
another, "Aren't you wearing
>
>your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong
man."
>
>§ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
>
>Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
>
>
>§ When a woman steals your husband, there is
no better revenge than to let her keep him.
>
>
>§ A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished .
>
>§ A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get
>
>married?"
>
>Father
replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
>
>§ A young son asked, "Is it true Dad,
that in some parts of Africa a man
>
>doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in
>
>every
country, son."
>
>
>§ Then there was a woman who said, "I
never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too
late."
>
>
>§ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
>
>
>§ If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every
>
>word you
say -- talk in your sleep.
>
>§ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life
>
>thinking
they had no faults at all.
>
>
>§ First guy says, "My wife's an
angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're
>
>lucky,
mine's still alive."
>
>§ " A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray
for wisdom, to understand a
>
>man, to
love and to forgive him, and for patience for his moods, because
>
>Lord, if I
pray for strength I'll just beat him to
death "
>
>AND NOW FOR
THE FAVOURITE
>
>Husband and
wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A
>
>blind man
joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find
>
>it
overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the
>
>bus. So the
husband and the blind man decide to walk.
>
>After a
while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the
>
>blind man
as he taps it on the sidewalk and says to him, "Why don't you put
>
>a piece of
rubber at the
>
>end of your
stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
>
>The blind
man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR
>
>stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell
up."