It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
> throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
> of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
> from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language
> will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical
importance
> of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
> co-workers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been
> provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in
> an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive
employees.
>
> TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
> INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
>
> TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
> INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
>
> TRY SAYING: Really?
> INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
>
> TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
> INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
>
> TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
> INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
>
> TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
> INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
>
> TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
> INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
>
> TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
> INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
>
> TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
> INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
>
> TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
> INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
>
> TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
> INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
>
> TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
> INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
>
> TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
> INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
>
> TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
> INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
>
> TRY SAYING: I see.
> INSTEAD OF: Blow me.
>
> TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
> INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.
>
> TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
> INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
>
> TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
> INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
>
> Thank You,
>
> Human Resources