HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

-- Kristen, age 10 

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even

boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested

enough to go for a second date.

-- Martin, age 10 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make

sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

-- Craig, age 9 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.

-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have

kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child) 

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

-- Ricky, age 10

A child attends a wedding. After the ceremony, he said to his friend:

A child attends a wedding. After the ceremony, he said to his friend:
- You saw ?
- What?
- The bride had to change her mind in the church.
- But why?
- Because, I saw her enter the arm of an old gentleman and she emerged in the arm of a young!

One day Thomas, 7, asks his mother:

One day Thomas, 7, asks his mother:
- Why do you have a big belly?
The mother :
- Because your daddy gave me a baby.
When his father returns from work, the kid tells him:
- Is it true that you gave a baby to mom?
- Yes.
And little Thomas, collapsed, says:
- She ate it ...

It is a boy who is in the street with his father:

It is a boy who is in the street with his father:
- Dad, did you see the beautiful car?
- Yes I saw it
- Dad, did you see the policeman?
- Yes I saw it
- Dad, you saw the plane
- Yes I saw it
- Dad, you saw .....
- YES I SAW IT !!!!!!
-  so why did you walk in ???

Polo goes to the hospital to see his friend Julien, full of bandages.

Polo goes to the hospital to see his friend Julien, full of bandages. Polo asks him:
- What happened to you ?
Julien answers:
- I was hit by a bike!
- Not possible ! How did you do ?
- That's not all ! I was crushed by a motorcycle, then by a convertible, then by a plane, and finally, by a flying saucer!
- I do not believe you !
- I assure you ! But fortunately, after the flying saucer, the boss of the carousel cut the power!

At the Opera :

At the Opera :
- Dad, who is the man who scares the lady by making big gestures?
- He does not want to scare him, he's the conductor.
- Then why the lady, she screams.

Just to Hilarious Subject: Big People Words

Subject: Big People Words
 
 
  A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to  become accustomed
  to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that  the teacher
 insisted on NO baby talk. "You need to use "Big People" words  she was always
 reminding them.
 
 She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. I went to  visit my
 Nana he said. "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use  "Big
 People Words"!
 
 Then she asked Mitchell what he had done, "I took a ride on a  choo-
  choo.  "No" she said, "you took a ride on a TRAIN.  You must remember to use
 Big People Words."
 
 She then asked little Alec what he had done. "I read a book"  he
 replied.  "That's wonderful the teacher said. "What book  did you read"? (I love
 this) Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his  chest and
  said with great pride -- WINNIE THE SHIT"