Why do men find it difficult to make
eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old
lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
*BINGO*!
What is faster Hot or cold? Hot,
because you can catch a cold.
What’s the difference between a new
husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
When everything’s coming your way,
you’re in the wrong lane.
If you can’t convince them, confuse
them.
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
Why did the bee get married? Because
he found his honey.
What do you call a boomerang that
doesn’t come back? A stick.
Why is the man who invests all your
money called a broker?
My birth certificate was a letter of
apology that my dad got from the condom company…
Time is what keeps things from happening all
at once.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies
like a banana.
A bargain is something you don’t need
at a price you can’t resist.
You cannot taste me, until you
undress me. -Banana