Very Funny one Liners

Very Funny one Liners

My hometown is so tough, gun shops have "Back to School" sales.

Work fascinates me - I can look at it for hours!

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so stay wasted all the time, and have the time of your life!

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs.

Do police sketch artists start out as those cops who outline dead bodies?

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

The other line always moves faster... until you get in it.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

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