Funny One Liners To Remember

Funny One Liners To Remember

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

Individualists unite!

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Experience is the comb life gives you after you're bald.

The days of the digital watch are numbered.

The subliminal message for today is.

The worst thing about censorship is __________.

Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch?

They talk of my drinking but never of my thirst.

Computers can never replace human stupidity.

ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff, Always Late In Arrival.

Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.

I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.

As my grandfather had said in his last words, "A TRUCK!"

I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!

If love is blind, how does love at first sight work?

Behind every successful man - a surprised mother-in-law.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK."

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask the questions.

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

Individualists unite!

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Experience is the comb life gives you after you're bald.

The days of the digital watch are numbered.

The subliminal message for today is.

The worst thing about censorship is __________.

Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch?

They talk of my drinking but never of my thirst.

Computers can never replace human stupidity.

ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff, Always Late In Arrival.

Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.

I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.

As my grandfather had said in his last words, "A TRUCK!"

I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!

If love is blind, how does love at first sight work?

Behind every successful man - a surprised mother-in-law.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK."

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask the questions.

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