Jokes about doctors, doctor jokes, joke at the hospital, humor doctor, nurse jokes, medical jokes

 1 - Allergy

Marine goes to the doctor to find out what's happening to her:
- Hello Doctor, at the moment I do not feel very well, do you know what I have?
- Hum .... yes, you are allergic to birch!
- Ah? Well, I have to stop working!
- No, no, madam! I was talking about the tree!

 32- Sperm analysis

Alphonse, 75, goes to see his doctor for a sperm analysis.
His doctor gives him a small bottle and tells him to come back the next day for analysis.
The next day, the man gives him the bottle; Empty and clean. The doctor asks him why.
- Hey! Well, here, doctor. I tried with the right hand, without success. With the left hand, nothing. So, I asked my wife to help me. She tried with the right hand then the left. Always nothing. Then she tried with the mouth, with her teeth, without her teeth. Still without success. So, we asked the young neighbor who tried with the right hand, the left, with her mouth, with her teeth, without her teeth ...
The doctor, shocked, interrupts him:
- You even ask the help of the neighbor? ...
- Hey! yes, doctor. You see, we tried everything and we still could not open this fucking bottle!

 3 - Auscultations

At the hospital, a beautiful young woman waiting in the corridor on her stretcher before being taken to the operating room to undergo a small intervention. She worries a little anyway, especially since the clock is ticking. A guy in a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet that covers it and examines his naked body. He folds the sheet, moves away to other white coats and discusses.
A second in a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet and examines it. Then he leaves again.

When the third white blouse approaches, raises the sheet, and scrutinizes it, the young woman becomes impatient: "It is all beautiful these auscultations, but when will you operate?"

The man in the white coat shrugs: "I have no idea, we painted the hallway."

 4 - Joke at the dentist

Once upon a time there was a woman who came to the dentist with a weird look. Entering her closet, she immediately removed her pants and panties and sat on the chair of the dentist, who looked very surprised.

Without waiting for a moment, he said to the woman: "I think you are mistaken as a specialist madam, you are at the dentist!"

And she answers him: "I know very well, and I know it was you who put the denture of my husband, so go get it!"

5 - it's not going at all

- Doctor, that's not good at all. When I press my heart, it hurts me. When I feel my liver, the pain is intense, and when I touch my belly, it hurts too much. Do you have an idea of ​​what I have?
- Yes, sir, the broken finger.
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