Hilarious Commets : Subject: Disorder in the Court

Subject:  Disorder in the Court
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
> > >These are things people actually said in court, word for
> > >word, taken down and now published by court reporters.
> > >How did they keep from laughing while these were all
> > >taking place?
> > >__________________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: What is your date of birth?
> > >A: July 14th
> > >Q: What year?
> > >A: Every year
> > >_____________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
> > >A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> > >_____________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > >A: I forget.
> > >Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've
forgotten?
> > >______________________________________________
> > >Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> > >A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> > >Q: How long has he lived with you?
> > >A: Forty-five years.
> > >______________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
> > >when he woke up that morning?
> > >A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > >Q: And why did that upset you?
> > >A: My name is Susan.
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: And where was the location of the accident?
> > >A: Approximately milepost 499.
> > >Q: And where is milepost 499?
> > >A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
> > >_______________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
> > >A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
> > >A: After the accident?
> > >Q: Before the accident.
> > >A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
> > >________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
lights
> > >flashing?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
> > >A: Yes, sir.
> > >Q: What did she say?
> > >A: What disco am I at?
> > >________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
> > >doesn't
> > >know about it until the next morning?
> > >
> > >A: Would you repeat that question, please?
> > >________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> > >A: I resent that question.
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: She had three children, right?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: How many were boys?
> > >A: None.
> > >Q: Were there any girls?
> > >__________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
> > >A: Yes.
> > >Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
> > >__________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > >A: By death.
> > >Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> > >________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Can you describe the individual?
> > >A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > >Q: Was this a male or a female?
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition that I
> > >sent
> > >to your attorney?
> > >A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> > >________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> > >A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> > >_______________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
> > >A: OK.
> > >Q: What school did you go to?
> > >A: Oral.
> > >_________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> > >A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > >Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> > >A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy
> on
> > >him.
> > >___________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> > >___________________________________________
> > >
> > >Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the
> > >autopsy?
> > >A: No.
> > >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > >Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
> > >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
> > >somewhere.
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