All the passengers of an airplane were on board, ready to take off,

All the passengers of an airplane were on board, ready to take off, but the pilot and co-pilot were missing. When the pilot arrives, he crosses the plane with black glasses and a white cane. The stunned passengers begin to laugh nervously and make comments like: Not possible, it must be a joke ...
When the co-pilot arrives with a guide dog. The passengers start to worry seriously, but too late, the engines come on and the plane takes the runway. Everyone at the portholes to see how they are going to take off,
Mute with anxiety, the plane takes more and more speed and does not take off, the end of the runway is only a few meters and the passengers all grow together an immense cry of despair ...
the wheels are off the ground a few millimeters from the end of the track.
In the cockpit, the pilot comments to the co-pilot:
- You'll see that one of these days we will are going to crash because these assholes are not going to scream in time.

A blind man was describing his favorite sport,

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: 'I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog.' 'But how do you know when you are going to land?' he was asked. 'I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground' he answered. 'But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?' he was again asked. He quickly answered: 'Oh, the dog's leash goes slack.'