Subject: How to Tell if You're a High-Tech Redneck

** You take your net-connected cell phone to the outhouse to read your e-mail.

** Your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com."

** Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.

** Your presence on the World Wide Web is a "Down Home Page."

** You tripled the value of your truck by installing a portable DVD.

** You trim the kudzu back from your trailer so it won't mess up your DSL.

** You ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

** Your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite tractor.

** You start all your e-mails with "Howdy!"

** You can fix a trolling motor with a set of PC tools.

** You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your drink can on.

** The bumper sticker on your truck says, "My other computer is a laptop."

** You know that a "network" has nothing to do with fishin'.

** Your baseball cap has an Intel logo instead of "CAT."

** You keep inventory of your truck parts, fishin' lures, and country music tapes in Excel.

** You've got every font ever made that looks like Old West signs or wood plank fencing installed on your computer.

** You have "Free Bird" and "Achy Breaky Heart" on the MP3 player in your truck.

** You find yourself humming, "Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire!"
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