Funny Facebook Status Update Reflections And Twitter Tweets

feels ashamed of his smoking but it's better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

notices that when the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.

thinks that a day without sunshine is like night.

thinks that if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

is getting that Deja Fu feeling... That that somehow, somewhere, he's been kicked in the head like this before.

knows that some people say that he must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.

is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

is reflecting that the cost of living hasn't affected it's popularity.

wonders if you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

thinks it's odd that people justify deer heads on their walls by saying they're beautiful animals. Hmmm.... I think my wife is beautiful.

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