Oven Mitt: A partially charred grease stain that fits over
the hand.
Picnic: Any meal eaten more than 100 yards from the nearest
bathroom.
Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing
ingredients you forgot to buy in utensils you don't own to make a dish the dog
won't eat the rest of.
Sugar: One of a class of carbohydrates present in one form
or another in all foods. Common sources of sugar and the types they contain
are: fructose and glucose (fruit juice and honey); lactose (milk); sucrose
(sugar cane or sugar beets); maltose (malt); and jocose, verbose, morose,
lachrymose, bellicose, and comatose (alcohol).
Taste: 1. The ability to distinguish between, say, Tripes a
la mode de Caen and chocolate pudding. 2. The critical discernment necessary to
choose the chocolate pudding.